i sit here. in this emptyness...not many people online...not much to do....nothing i want to do. im isolated. lost in this silence. lost in the rainy day. so empty and filled with nothing. how long has it beens since i last spoke? 2 hours? an hour? i dont know, im at a loss for time, im looking at everything with distant eyes, wondering, waiting, watching, wanting nothing. wat is there to want? im not sure ne more, all i know, is that i do things, because i do things, because they say i have to, because it's logical to do so. that's y. im sure most people do that too. im sure they do.
but that brings up a good question: what do i do now? ......dunno, wat do i do? where do i go? should i speak? no..i probably wont say ne thing good. just silence. i dont want to sleep, i dot like falling alseep empty...maybe it's because i feel like ill wake up empty....? or....i wont wake up at all.....*rubs eyes* but im very physically tired.....but i want company. there's no company. i suppose i got to get used to that. im swimming through a vast sea, after all, with no one around me....just darkness, just black, just empty. but i kno if i keep on swimming in one direction, ill see a light house, and from there ill see shore. yes, ill c....but not now, no..instead now i try not to drown. dont think about then, think about now, think about not drowning. my arms and legs are tired, my mind feels like it's going to explode from all this concentration....stroke...stroke....glide....glide....paddle paddle.......float......float when necessary, cause ur moving to slow....swim, swim.....all i can taste is dull water, dull and unsatifying...wat's wrong? i dont know....last i knew i knew how to swim....last i remembered...remeber...to do?
wat do i do? duno...where do i go....? dunno......dunno.....wander. wonder. watch. wait. want nothing.
Hoshi*
